


I Feel

by Ilya_Faina



Series: Seeker to my Soul [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Acceptance, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:54:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23870104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilya_Faina/pseuds/Ilya_Faina
Summary: One of them finally verbally confessed their love to the other, and the recipient wasn't too far behind in doing the same. The cat's out of the bag and their hearts are laid in each other's hands.So... what now?=====This work will continue my WoL's, A'viloh Entialpoh, adventures with the Crystal Exarch/G'raha Tia and show how their love will develop as they tackle the many challenges that both the Source and the First throw their way, and will follow the many events that happen in post-Shadowbringers.=====Sequel to "I Want"
Relationships: G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Original Character(s), G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light
Series: Seeker to my Soul [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615156
Comments: 22
Kudos: 40





	1. ...Like This Will Be a New Beginning

Here’s the sequel to my series! If you haven’t read the first one, please check it out as some things might be confusing in the first few chapters: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22445656/chapters/53631394

Thank you so much for everyone that left all of the kudos and wonderful comments in my first series, they meant the world to me and I hope very much that those same readers returned! I will be keeping up the format with the title of the series overall starting out the chapter’s title and adding the rest with each new chapter that comes out. It’s just something that stuck with me and it is my hope that it gives a bit more insight/personalization to each chapter ^^

I will also be following the format where I present an author, however, instead of it being someone that inspired me to start writing (not that any that I present in this work didn’t, they are all absolutely incredible) I will be featuring works that inspired that particular chapter. As such, there might be duplicates with works (such as multi-chaptered works) and authors from them having written many treasures. I also will be adding artist(s) or certain work(s) that inspired the chapter, so please stick to the end of each chapter ^^

This work will follow the events of post-Shadowbringers, such as dungeons, raids, main plot, and I’ll also be adding my own twist to things. I will do my best to keep it as canon as possible, however, don’t be surprised if some parts might seem different; I will try to not deviate too much ><;;

Before I forget, check out my profile to see where you can get in contact with me, I love speaking with people, both old and new! ^^

===== 

1) Chapter 1 - I Feel Your Heartbeat Against My Fingers

His Warrior had said what G'raha would not let himself feel. He now knew the truth the Warrior so desperately held in their heart. Did they know _his_ truth?

~o~o~

….there was no plush under him. He could still feel the hard floor beneath his feet and he was still upright.

~o~o~

Don't silence his wants. Have courage.

~o~o~

Author: despommes, “Astrolobe”, Chapter 2 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/20942717/chapters/51374428#workskin)

Artist: (@fushimiqote): https://twitter.com/fushimiqote?s=09

=====

2) Chapter 2 - I Feel Your Hand on My Back

“...Wicked white!”

~o~o~

“The people of the Crystarium… my people… they deserve this home after all of what they have gone through. As does everyone else in the First. How could we not open our doors to the group of people who would make the walls outside safe for them again?”

~o~o~

"I have wished to be by the one who opened my eyes and heart throughout all of those years, and you were the one who slept for two centuries."

~o~o~

"...Do you promise?"

“I promise.”

Author: demios, “refraction” (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19804003)

Artist: https://twitter.com/xxxpaper

=====

3) Chapter 3 - I Feel The Strength and Determination That My Warrior of Light Always Possesses

“P-Pretty?!” G’raha stuttered, the moment effectively _over_. A’viloh laughed, not moving his nose away as he breathed him in.

~o~o~

"T-There is no-nothing to apologize for, friend. Come, let us see what I-I can make you before your stomach demands a sacrifice," he laughed, wiping a stray tear.

~o~o~

“....When we leave this Tower, can we be like this?”

Author: eternalwind, “undying devotion” (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19936783)

Artist: https://twitter.com/miyeok_ff14/media


	2. ...Your Heartbeat Against My Fingers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His Warrior had said what G'raha would not let himself feel. He now knew the truth the Warrior so desperately held in their heart. Did they know his truth?
> 
> ~o~o~
> 
> ….there was no plush under him. He could still feel the hard floor beneath his feet and he was still upright.
> 
> ~o~o~
> 
> Don't silence his wants. Have courage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello! Thank you so much for checking this work out and giving it a chance! This is a sequel to my first multi-chaptered fic, https://archiveofourown.org/works/22445656/chapters/53631394, so please give it a read before you check this one out as you might get confused by the first few chapters. If you don’t mind the confusion, then please keep reading ^^
> 
> I’ll try to keep this brief as my Table of Contents contains more info on this sequel. I’ll be following the same format as my other work where I will present an author (or a fic that inspired the chapter) and an artist(s), so please stick to the end!
> 
> Without further ado, please enjoy! ^^

One moment he was drowning in those warm eyes and the next, his whole body felt like it was drowning.

He was so warm. So, so warm.

His lips touched something dry but kept them there. The sensation was strange but somehow right. His arms were tight, feeling his heartbeat through his left arm and his aether through the right. His balled hands slowly loosened, palms pressed against something hard and solid. Something repetitive thumped--another heartbeat?--through his palms. A finger brushed against the cloth, feeling more underneath the shirt, like bandages. His eyes had slipped close, letting himself be gently guided through what he surmised to be a kiss. A soft and gentle kiss.

Lips parted when cold wafted between them, breathing deeply as a hand around his waist trailed up his side, him curling up and shuddering from how it tickled. It ended up on the back of his head, fingers spreading as they brought him close. His left ear pressed against the fabric, that repetitive sound louder. 

_Babump, babump, babump_

The hand didn't leave the back of his head, thumb very slowly stroking the side. His body naturally molded himself against the strong and comfortable wall, a deep sigh escaping his lips. So protective and loving. The other arm settled naturally around his waist, showing no signs of moving.

He had been kissed, and now he was being embraced.

His arms soon began to ache, a slight frown appearing from the discomfort ruining the moment. He let it slip under an arm, frowning at how cold it now felt but it slowly warmed when it settled comfortably on the other's waist. His left arm followed and he was closer than ever, all but clinging to them.

He should have cared. They should have minded. Both should have been far away from each other. But they weren't and they couldn't.

His Warrior had said what G'raha would not let himself feel. He now knew the truth the Warrior so desperately held in their heart. Did they know _his_ truth?

Something with a bit of weight laid on the top of his head, him being moved outward slightly from the deep breath that went into their lungs, and he was brought back into the safe cocoon as they exhaled. The strong hand behind their head still didn't leave, but the thumb had stopped. His sense of balance shifted slightly, feeling himself be slowly moved from side to side. Left and right, left and right. A tiny sound of a swallow.

He couldn't remember the last time he was this comfortable, this much at peace. Maybe… while he slumbered and dreamt of all that he wished could have happened between the Warrior and him?

Just like now. This was a dream, it had to be.

His knees buckled, the grip around his waist tightening enough to keep him standing.

"Easy there… You must be exhausted from all that’s happened. Let's lay down," came the hushed suggestion. Exhausted… yes, that was one way to put it. But he was sleeping, he can dream of himself having strength. He wanted to stay here and be held. His wall moved, turning and started to gently move him, wanting to make him walk.

He stood his ground, pushing back and hugged tighter. With his face pressed against the safe nook, he protested. "No, I want to stay here."

A small sound came out, tension spreading throughout his wall and then a sharp exhale of a chuckle. "You'll fall asleep if we stay like this." A pause, another swallow. Did his wall become warmer? "We… can be this close in bed, if you so wish."

He was confused. He was already in bed, was he not? Oh, _oh_ , they can be on the bed together. Yes, that sounds like a lovely dream. He hadn't had one of those in a long while.

His lips spread in a smile, wishing for such a thing and waited for the oh-so plush mattress to be under him. Any moment now.

…A few more moments?

…

….there was no plush under him. He could still feel the hard floor beneath his feet and he was still upright.

Apprehensively, his hands pressed against his wall and gently pushed, his waist cold from no longer being held.

"...We aren't in bed," he stated bluntly. There was his Warrior, looking down at him in confusion. With a tilt of his head, he asked,

"Should we be?"

G'raha's brows furrowed, his nerves bubbling up. Nerves? No, this was a happy dream. He wished for a happy dream, not one of his anxiety-filled ones.

His mouth opened, the words, 'I want us to be', refusing to leave and instead assured, "We are in my dream."

The Warrior's eyes widened in shock, lips forming a small "o". He searched G'raha's eyes for a few moments, dread starting to settle in the leader. This is a dream, right? This, this _had_ to be a dream.

When he didn't find what he was looking for, A'viloh's eyes softened with a hint of sadness, having a small smile.

"Is that where you think we are…?" he asked quietly. G'raha firmly nodded.

"Of course."

A moment's pause. Then,

"G'raha." Said person shuddered, hands leaving the Warrior's chest to wrap around his waist. Even with sadness laced in their voice, his name was said so sweetly.

"I promise, this is no dream."

"But it is. It has to be. How else would you know of what I want? I have made sure to say none of them! Only to be called by my name," G'raha pressed.

There was that smile. It was warmer than the embrace they just had. It was… warmer than he had ever seen it. Those twinkling brown hues shined brighter than the stars themselves. They had so much love and, and _relief_.

"Is that what you want? To be held, be kissed, and for me to say that I love you?"

Love

There was so much of it in his voice, that word almost purred out of his chest. He held himself more because of his full-body shudder.

_Love_

"...this… this is not a dream, is it…?" He whispered helplessly. Then all of that… all of what happened and _just_ happened.

"Would you prefer this moment to be that?"

Oh gods. Oh gods, oh gods, oh every deity above--

"Twelve preserve," G'raha gasped out, utterly _mortified_. He did all of that. He _actually did all of that_.

"I… I-I am so sorry…!" was all he could say, eyes filling with tears. He _clung_ to the Warrior a-and then _demanded_ answers, and then… and then he was… h-he was **kissed** and, and **loved--**

"If you are apologizing…" A'viloh slowly started, hand on his hip. "Then that must mean…"

"...I am correct with my assumptions?" He questioned with a wiggle of his ears, an unsure smile on his face. He had asked for consent before he kissed him, but perhaps he should have verbally asked--

"Your… assumptions…?" G'raha squeaked, his eyes still wet but holding back the tears to the best of his ability.

"That you wanted to be held, be kissed, and for me to tell you that I love you," he reiterated as confidently as he could, despite his voice cutting off mid-sentence, a slight blush on his cheeks.

G'raha was mute, completely stupefied. Was he that easy to read--what a terrible question, yes, yes he was. That was another reason why he wore that cowl, him being too easy to read. Even with magick numbing his ears and tail, he was still so easily read. What else could he say? He had already made a fool out of himself. Though… his Warrior did say he… h-he…

"...Yes?" he croaked out, shoulders slumped in defeat. He didn't have the strength to hold back his tears, letting them fall. Clearly he hadn't cried enough in those 100 years from how readily they came these past several days.

A'viloh's eyes softened significantly, outstretching his hand some ilms, palm up. That confession came very easily this time; so much pent up emotion…

"Would you like another hug? Or maybe, would you like to tell me why you are crying? I promise I won't judge you. I meant it when I said that I wanted to listen to you. So please…" He outstretched his hand more, not moving an inch.

"Don't silence what you want."

G'raha sniffed, wiping at his eyes. His tear ducts burned and his nose stung from how much rubbing he had done to it the past few days. "I would like to stop making a fool out of myself."

A'viloh chuckled, hand still outstretched. "I don't see you as a fool. Though if it helps, it has been said that love can turn anyone into a fool."

G'raha stopped rubbing his eyes, the burn being too much. He was mostly done crying, or at least he hoped he was. With a final sniff, he eyed A'viloh's hand, hesitation clear in his swollen eyes. How were they so understanding with him…

"You must see me mad," G'raha mumbled, fingers twitching. He should take it, it… would be rude not to…? No, no, he _wanted_ to grab that hand.

"Not in the least," A'viloh assured. Another hand came up, palm also raised in invitation.

"...Indecisive?"

"Nope, you're pretty open with what you want. You just have to have the courage to say it and go through with it."

"High-maintenance?"

"Aside from you not liking magicked food, I say you are incredibly _low_ maintenance."

His fingers twitched again, eyes moving back and forth from A'viloh's face and hands. They remained stretched out, his eyes were still warm, and he was still smiling. Not a hint of a lie emanated from him.

Don't silence his wants. Have courage.

Taking a tiny step forward, his eyes remained on A'viloh's right hand. Another step, and they were on his left. His hands trembled as he lifted them up, taking note of his crystal hand and put it down with a self-deprecating head shake. Once his left fingertips reached A'viloh's right palm, he paused, retracting them for a moment and then lightly laid them. A'viloh waited, letting G'raha set the pace, watching as he took his time to fully place his hand over his.

He was proud of him for continuing to follow his heart, no matter how many times he needed to be reminded to follow it. It didn't matter that G’raha couldn't look him in the eye during such moments. Twelve, he was sure that he got a kiss in and could embrace him only because G'raha had thought of it all a dream. His cheeks colored slightly at that, curious at how many the leader had had if he thought such an experience was another one. What _else_ had he dreamed of?

Pushing those thoughts aside, he swiftly grabbed the right hand the leader was trying to hide, lifting both up and giving them a squeeze. G'raha gasped, biting his lip at the sound and looked up in surprise. A'viloh's ears wiggled in glee at catching him off guard, grinning widely. He wanted to do so much more, his heart soaring from the moment but he knew to take it slow. These last several days were gruelling, but he couldn't be impatient. He had been wanting this for _years_ but he had his suspicions that G'raha had been wanting this for a _century_. Maybe more, he selfishly thought.

"Come, let us retire for the night," he urged, hooking both of G'raha's thumbs onto his left hand as he swooped down to grab the crumpled parchment paper. He took a wide step forward, not letting G'raha move from his spot and managed to grab his tomestone. He pressed the button to turn it on and turned, gently pulling G'raha out of the kitchen and to the rotunda.

"Retire…? Is… i-is it that late?" G'raha questioned incredulously, thanking the Twelve for not hyperventilating on the spot. The Warrior was grabbing his hand--thumbs--the Warrior was grabbing his hand…!

"Mm-hm. It is quite late and you must be tired. I know I am," A'viloh chuckled, walking to the lounging area's door and closed it without missing a beat. A mess for another day.

He momentarily paused when he saw how dark the bedroom was, the walls emitting a gentle light moments after. He paused yet again a few steps after, G'raha thankfully having enough time to not run into him. The Warrior had been incredibly considerate, keeping their hands slightly raised as he continued to hold both of G'raha's thumbs. He had no idea why A’viloh had chosen that type of hand holding, but the leader wouldn't dare question it; after all, he had thought that anything remotely close to what they had just half a bell ago would only happen in his dreams.

"I still have to check your ears and throat, and my bag is in the kitchen," A'viloh sighed, shoulders drooping. He placed his device and parchment on the desk's wooden chair and went to turn for the door, yet half-succeeded from G'raha standing in front of him, oddly jittery.

"T-That can wait until tomorrow. As you said, it is late and we, we should rest." It was not entirely a lie, however--

A'viloh frowned, feeling G'raha's thumbs bend. Was there something that he didn't want him to see?

He glanced at the leader's ears, his own swiveled forward in attentiveness. "This is twice that you have wanted me to put aside your ears and throat. Is everything alright with them?" When he saw G'raha visibly tense, he softened up. Holding G’raha’s hands normally, his thumbs rubbed reassuring circles on the back of the leader’s hands as he calmly explained. "Be at ease, I have no reason to be upset at you. I only worry and wish to know why you are denying me treating you."

He should have chosen a different way to say that last part as remorse filled G'raha's eyes. The leader took a step forward, pleading as he let his hands slip free, him grasping A’viloh’s hands. "You have no reason to worry, this I swear. Both are well enough for now, it is just…" he trailed off, ruby eyes shining with uncertainty. How could he reveal such a thing without explaining the rest…?

He couldn't. He had to be honest not only with his heart but with everything else.

Again, A'viloh waited. That G'raha had wanted to say something and not change the subject was another push in the right direction. The leader had already gone through enough, he shouldn't push for more. Instead, he gave G'raha an understanding smile and nodded. 'Another day', his eyes said. G'raha immediately relaxed, eyes shining in gratitude. He brought their hands down and cheeks went pink at seeing how _he_ was the one holding them now. A'viloh didn't give him the opportunity to move away, giving them a squeeze as he navigated to the bed backwards, keeping his gaze behind him.

Once he got to the bed, he guided G'raha to the edge, unfortunately letting go from the pillows and blankets being on the other side. Goodness, the bed seriously was huge; he was sure that all of his friends would comfortably fit on it and more.

Crawling over, he brought everything to their side, quickly moving everything into place. A deep sense of tiredness washed over him halfway through, his mind becoming a bit muddled.

'Stress and nerves will do that to you,' he reminded himself, lifting the blankets enough to crawl under them. He made sure to put the pillows with enough distance to where they wouldn't touch unless the other wished to, but also not to where it didn't seem like he didn't want to be near G'raha.

Said person was silent the entire time, trying not to stare at the Warrior and failing miserably. He should have enough strength to stay up for several days from how much he had rested, yet he felt anything but. He hadn't realized how stressed he was until he no longer felt that great weight on his shoulders. A small part of him wanted to make him realize that the stress had been there far longer than a week but he was too tired to acknowledge the fact. He agreed with the Warrior: a lot had happened over the course of several hours and a good night's rest would help relax his mind and emotions. Plus, the mattress was starting to feel quite comfortable

He jolted when he felt a few light pats next to him, looking down to see the Warrior lean back into his spot in bed. He gave the space beside him a quick pat and kept the blankets up, just like the night before. He smiled tiredly, eyes hazy but they still welcomed him as he whispered.

"Come to bed."

Such words brought warmth to his heart, spreading along his heavy limbs as they lulled his senses. Bed, and the Warrior would be next to him. Sleep, and they would be near him. They would join him physically and mentally. What bliss.

He slowly crawled to his spot, plopping down face first into his pillow, turning his head moments after when he began to lose air. He sighed deeply when he felt the many blankets on his back, nestling deeper into them when they reached his chin. His eyes remained closed as he listened to the Warrior shift beside him, his mind already far away.

He didn't know if what he heard next came from the Warrior of the waking world or from the Warrior of his dreaming mind, only that it gave him as much warmth and protection as when he was held by either one.

"I will be here when you wake, G'raha."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that this chapter made up for all of those moments that could have happened in my first work ^^;; More soft moments will come, I swear! The next chapter will have some angst, comforting moments, and also important information, so please look forward to that ^^ I hope very much that you all will stick around for more and that the future chapters can live up to how this chapter played out as well. I shall do my best!
> 
> Now, onto the author and artist! I will admit that this chapter took me much longer to post, not just because of the edit, but because of reading lots of works that could have the same soft feelings that I wanted to portray in this chapter. And the reason why it took so much longer is because so, so many authors have written such soft, tender, intimate works that it was incredibly hard to just pick one. I finally settled with the 2nd chapter of “Astrolobe” by despommes (https://archiveofourown.org/works/20942717/chapters/51374428#workskin). Gosh, this is my go-to work whenever I need to hound in on the soft emotions from how beautifully written this work is. How the author describes those intimate moments, the amount of love that G’raha has for Artemesia, that moment when he knew that he loved her, ahhhh. I can go on and on.
> 
> As for the artist, this is one that draws incredibly soft and tender moments of the WoL with G’raha. The artist is @fushimiqote on Twitter. I just knew that I had to wait until I published the first chapter to this multi-fic series before I could speak about them from so many of their drawings really capturing the essence of what I try to go for in my chapters. Please, please, please give their art a look, you will not be disappointed!
> 
> I’ll try my best to not keep rambling as I know I can get incredibly wordy ^^;; Thank you so much for making it to the end and for giving this work a chance, it fills my heart with so much joy to see people enjoy this.
> 
> Thank you so much again! Stay safe, stay healthy, and be well ^^


	3. ...Your Hand on My Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “...Wicked white!”
> 
> ~o~o~
> 
> “The people of the Crystarium… my people… they deserve this home after all of what they have gone through. As does everyone else in the First. How could we not open our doors to the group of people who would make the walls outside safe for them again?”
> 
> ~o~o~
> 
> "I have wished to be by the one who opened my eyes and heart throughout all of those years, and you were the one who slept for two centuries."
> 
> ~o~o~
> 
> "...Do you promise?"
> 
> “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s another chapter ^^ Lots happening, even if it isn’t as long. This chapter touches one of the topics that many authors have touched upon before and this is my twist to that. I hope that I explained it to the best of my ability, as there is much liberty to it. I hope you all know what I mean when you get there ^^;;
> 
> Thank you so, so much for all of your lovely comments, you’re all grand ;w; As always, there will be a work that I think goes well with this chapter, and an artist. Please stick till the end so that you all can see who they are and check out their words!
> 
> And with that, please enjoy ^^

Sleep came to A’viloh several times throughout the night, waking at odd intervals. He thought that he would be alright with another body next to him, especially if it was the one that he loved the most, but that didn’t seem to be the case. He first woke when the gentle light from the crystal walls diminished to nothing, his body jerking awake. Despite being exhausted, his body wouldn’t let him go back to sleep. Not having the energy to stealthily get out of bed, he had sent Hop to quietly retrieve a sprig of lavender, only for him to come back empty handed, letting out soft whimpers of apology. The Warrior had scooped him up and given the little guy plenty of kisses and cuddles to reassure him, the little panda gladly taking them. He asked one last favor of him before he was sent away, knowing that he needed to sleep too.

Every time he awoke after that, he would do a simple task on his tomestone, making sure to hide it under his pillow each time so as to not wake his bed mate. Throughout the night, he thought he was imagining things when the other miqo’te would shift and somehow get closer. When it happened the first few times, he had subtly moved his pillow farther, thinking that it was himself moving closer. The last thing he wanted was to accidentally wake the leader from his body betraying him whilst asleep. The fifth time it happened, he had just sent the last message to his third retainer, reassuring them that he was safe and well. When he had set his tome under his pillow, the slight shift traveled to the leader and they shifted too. He could feel their presence closer to him, A’viloh not able to keep his grin away.

So they were a warmth chaser, huh…

Slightly more awake, he _wished_ that he could have summoned his moon to double-check, though feeling the soft breathing on his arm was proof enough. He knew that he shouldn’t have and have kept his distance, but his heart and wants won him over. Slowly, he scooted up higher on the bed and lifted his arm, making sure to move the sheets enough for his bed partner to feel them. He had to bite his lip hard when he undoubtedly felt G’raha’s face on his side, thanking the Twelve, Hydaelyn and even Zodiark for making the right decision to have him on his left. Slower still, he brought his arm down, settling it comfortably on his back, making full sure to not be near the bullet wound, and swooned at how G’raha nuzzled his side while he slept, even letting out a deep exhale. And when his scholar _wrapped an arm around him_ , it took A’viloh everything he had to not pass out from happiness. All he could do was silently thank everything above and pray that G’raha did not wake up before him.

Unsurprisingly, he woke up before G’raha, his body sore from not going into deep sleep and his mind always on the surface. His mind wasn’t faring any better, but a good cup of black tea would be enough to wake him. Maybe three.

He was idly checking the prices for certain materials on the Crystarium’s market board (bless that feature also working on the First) when he felt G’raha shift. After a few ticks from the broken chronometer, the crystal walls slowly came to life, the same gentle light from last night coming up. As the shifting continued, A’viloh set his tomestone down to watch him, eyes softening. It seemed that just being near him wasn’t enough as G’raha had pulled himself up to use his chest as a pillow, faded locks all over the place. Looking over his ears, he noticed how badly they needed to be groomed, the tufts in and around them sticking out in all directions. Did he still have his braid? He couldn’t remember, only important parts of the night before coming to mind.

His fingers twitched as G’raha rubbed his face on A’viloh’s nightshirt, almost as if to wake himself. He lifted himself enough to not be fully on the hero, greatly tensing his shoulders before he all but plopped himself back on his chest, the Warrior using everything that he had to not let out an “oof”. He… was certainly different before he was awake, A’viloh finding it endearing. He did not move a single inch, greatly enjoying the show. 

G’raha seemed to have resigned to waking up afterwards, placing his chin on A’viloh’s chest. A moment after, dazed Allagan eyes stared ahead, blinking away the cobwebs from his mind before they looked up, focusing on A’viloh’s face. The Warrior gave him an unsure smile, knowing that in a few heartbeats, the moment would disappear, though not knowing how.

Another blink. Two.

…

“...Wicked white!”

A’viloh jumped at the sudden outburst, though definitely not as high as G’raha did, the blankets coming off them both. His chest ached slightly from how much force G’raha used to springboard himself off, the leader a few fulms away. A’viloh pushed himself off the bed with his right arm, sitting up and taking note of the lack of pain he felt. Looking up, he smiled softly when he saw G’raha’s tomato-red face. His hair tie was barely holding on, hair a tangled mess. The Warrior also got a good look at his tail, the matted fur fully fluffed out.

“I… I-I…!” Oh gods, how much _more_ could he embarrass himself?! It had been _decades_ since he last slept with someone else. He didn’t count the events of days before, contributing all of that to the symptoms he had and the medicine that he took. Side effects, they were all side effects, he reassured himself. Lyna demanded to sleep with him when she was younger and _only_ because she knew that he would read her a bedtime story, effectively keeping her up longer. Sadly, it could only be a few chapters from many of her grandfather’s books being long enough to take an entire night to get through, but it would suffice. G’raha always thought that they would be a tangled mess come morning from Lyna being the one to move while asleep. He never thought that it would be _him_ who did all of the moving…!

“I-I… am _so_ sorry. That was… that is… m-my actions are unforgivable, and, and it will not happen again,” G’raha choked out, moving farther away from the Warrior. What of _his wounds?!_ He was incredibly heavy and he was sure that he didn’t let the Warrior sleep a single wink--

“If I may, I did not mind it in the least,” A’viloh laughed. What a silly man. He had enjoyed every single moment of it.

A’viloh grinned, sitting cross-legged on the bed. “You are quite comfortable. I would be honored to be your pillow again, and let me tell you, I am quite serious on that offer.” Closing his eyes, his ears wiggled in joy as his grin overtook his face. “I enjoyed every bit of it.”

The rest of G’raha’s apology vanished from his mind, staring agape at the Warrior. He searched their face for any sign of pain or discomfort but could find none. His right arm ached slightly from how quickly he had moved, tension clear in his shoulders. But slowly, it dissipated the longer he gazed at the Warrior. Their eyes opened and their grin turned into a smile as their tail came into view, lightly thumping on the bed. G’raha focused on the light thumps, his cheeks slowly losing their blush. After a breath, he looked up at the Warrior.

“...I… could never ask for you to be my personal pillow,” he started, his voice weak and tentative.

This was going to be tricky. The Warrior’s stomach flipped with nerves, knowing that he was getting into sensitive territory. A’viloh drummed his knees, ear flicking. “Sure you can. It’s the least I can be for how much you have fed me,” he lightly offered. He would need to ease into it, start small and get bigger.

“I-It is the least _I_ can do for how well you have treated me. You have gone above and beyond for my well-being,” G’raha countered, leaning forward on his knees. “On the contrary, I should be doing _more_ for you.”

A’viloh smiled slightly. “You gave me a bed to sleep on, food to eat, money for my travels, and a place that I can call home. You have given me more than you realize, dear.” He mentally cursed himself from the pet name that fell so easily from his mouth. Have some self-control, this was not the time.

G’raha definitely noticed it if his jolt was anything to go by, but he pushed on, hands balled on the blankets under him. “I gave you what you needed to start on the journey that I so selfishly asked of you. A room fit for a Warrior who would risk life and limb for an entire realm, nourishment to give him the energy to persevere through the hardships that he would face, and resources to start that perilous journey.” His hands tightened their grip on the cloth, needing strength to continue.

“The people of the Crystarium… my people… they deserve this home after all of what they have gone through. As does everyone else in the First. How could we not open our doors to the group of people who would make the walls outside safe for them again?”

A’viloh stayed silent, his smile faltering. He knew that they did. All of them deserved peace, happiness, and more. A dark part of him dared to think that they deserved it more than some of the citizens back in Eorzea but he quickly drowned that thought, ashamed to have even thought of such a thing. Taking a deep breath, his uncombed tail laid on his lap, him subconsciously fumbling with it. He thought of the best way to say what he wanted all along, index finger stroking the tip of his tail.

“They deserve that and more, if I may say…” He kept stroking his tail, the action soothing his nerves slightly. “We can never thank you enough for the kindness that you have given us. You are all incredible people. To know that… that you have all suffered such hardships for a century… I will never be able to comprehend how you all did so and kept your heads up. Peace, happiness, prosperity… Everyone deserves that and more.” Swallowing, he lifted his head, brown eyes softened in sadness. “It will… take some time for such things to come into their lives. Yet… they did not achieve it alone. They had a leader to guide them every step of the way.”

G’raha stiffened, his tail fluffing out behind him once again. He should have expected such words to come his way, but he didn’t expect them to come from his Warrior. He faintly recalled how they would give subtle compliments to the Scions every time they were in the Ocular, none too grandiose or meant to embarrass them, but they still happened. Would this be such a moment?

Seeing how quiet G’raha got, A’viloh continued, speaking softly while warmth spread throughout his body. “A selfless, hardworking, kind--”

“Please… not from you,” G’raha shuddered, looking away to keep himself composed. Too much, far too much. He couldn’t hear such sweet things from someone who has done ten times more than him. _They_ deserve those words, not him.

A’viloh sighed, letting his tail fall and sat on his knees. He did not want to push too hard, but he’ll be damned if things went back to how they were. Leaning forward, his tail wound up around his waist as he pushed on.

“You _deserve_ to hear such things. You are… you are _incredible_ , G’raha,” A’viloh breathed, awe swelling in his eyes. “You have been the Crystarium’s, nay, Norvrandt’s pillar of strength for _so long_. You never, _ever_ gave up. You were never wrong and you taught people to be better. Even as things changed around you, as Eulmore changed and their people, you always knew what the people really needed. And you strived for _years_ to grant it to them. Even if I have been here for only some full moons, I know that you went above and beyond to help them change and to see that life is not always full of happiness. For there to be a new dawn, we must first go through the dark of night.” He scooted forward once, getting a bit closer. G’raha was still looking away, ears pinned tight against his head. A’viloh had a feeling that if he pressed his hands over the leader’s ears, he would be allowed.

Gods, how he knew. How he knew how painful praise was. He too felt like he didn’t deserve such praise, such awe, such adoration from everyone around him. His actions, they were the least he could do. If he could help, why wouldn’t he?

“Being human should not grant such words. It is the least that we can do as people,” G’raha whispered, trembling from how hard he fought back his self-deprecating thoughts. He never stopped trying to reach the misguided aristocrats in the city of false hope. He knew that his actions would be for naught but he never stopped trying. He couldn’t. If he could reach just _one_ person, it would be enough. Just one person could instigate change. One person could change the tide. Just like how the Warrior had done so.

“...I… did not become a pillar of strength alone. I had… ” G’raha swallowed, voice cracking as he pressed on, “I had an example from whom I could follow. Someone who would always get back up, no matter how much they fell. They always made the impossible possible, and they somehow always opened new possibilities for people to consider and paths for them to walk through.”

Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, he focused on the closed door. “But you are mistaken. I did make errors. Many, many errors. However, I did not let them stop me. I could not. I needed to make everything right for your coming. My mistakes and blunders, no matter how severe, were stepping stones for success--your success.”

“But _you_ aren’t a stepping stone.” G’raha’s head snapped forward, eyes widening when he saw how close the Warrior was. When did he get so close?!

A’viloh’s face was no longer bright. It was as serious and stern as a parent would be with a fussing child. G’raha flinched when he felt A’viloh’s hand plop on his head, then felt his cold fingers around the back.

“You are a person, not a tool for my success. You have done so much more than you give yourself credit for, G’raha. The Scions, they gave me the strength to carry on when I could no longer move forward.”

‘And Ardbert.’ ‘ _And Arbert.’_

Gently, he petted the tangled faded hair. G’raha did not relax, refusing to meet his gaze and remained still, ears still pinned. “I may be the one that brought night back to Norvrandt, but it was all of you who helped start that. My name may be in several books, but none of what I accomplished could have happened were it not for those who fought with me.”

His other hand came up, cupping the left side of his face. G’raha’s shoulders hunched forward, closing himself up further but when A’viloh cupped the right side of his face, he found that he could no longer hide. His face was lifted and he pulled back slightly when he felt his Warrior’s cold thumb stroke the crystal on his cheek, expression incredibly soft.

A'viloh stopped when he saw fear in G'raha's eyes, immediately letting go of his face. The gates were open: it was now or never.

"...I have done much in a span of six years… but none of my actions will ever compare with what you have done in a century," A’viloh whispered. He tried again, putting his hands in front of him, palms up.

"I have wished to be by the one who opened my eyes and heart throughout all of those years, and you were the one who slept for two centuries."

G'raha's eyes welled with tears, those beautiful dreams filling his mind. They were so peaceful, so wonderful. They were a world that he wished he could have lived in with the Warrior. Instead, he woke up knowing it was never meant to be. He brought a hand up to wipe at his eyes once again, twitching when he accidentally bumped into A'viloh's hands. He stopped mid-rub, ruby eyes trained on those calloused palms. His pinned ears lifted slightly, the temptation getting the better of him.

"You waited another century for me. All of what you have done, it was for my success but…" A'viloh leaned down, gently pressing his forehead against G'raha's. The tears in his eyes seem to stop, eyes dilating a fraction.

"...I never would have done so if I didn't have the one I love the most guiding me. If I am your inspiration, then you are… you are my beacon of light." He closed his eyes the moment he saw G'raha's try to look deep into his, letting a smile come up. The poor thing was shaking again.

"No matter how lost I would get, you always showed me the right path. No matter how much pain I felt, our memories together would be the balm to soothe them." Heavy drops fell down their hands, stifled sobs filling the room. A'viloh sat on his knees, bringing G'raha's hands to his torso as his arms went around him. They hovered over his trembling form, never touching him as he silently asked for his next move.

"I would always chase after that eccentric, wide-eyed scholar back at the Source, and have the wise words of the Exarch whispering in my ear here in the First. My beacon of light never left me, even when all I could see was darkness."

G'raha's body moved before he could think rationally, shuffling forward as his knees touched A'viloh's. His arms were tight around A'viloh the next shaky breath he took, burying his wet face in his chest. Just like how G'raha's body didn't think, neither did A'viloh's, spreading his legs out to bring him even closer. Despite his small form, the leader had more strength to him than most realized. It took much of A'viloh's balance to stay upright, G'raha clinging to him. The Warrior embraced him just as tightly with one arm, slowly bringing them down on the mattress. There, he held the sobbing miqo'te with as much strength as he could without hurting him. He let him weep for as long as he needed to, keeping his arms tight around him.

And did he cry. He cried, and he cried, and _he cried_. How could he not when he became what he wanted most for the man he loved for three centuries and more? First he heard what he selfishly wished for so long, and now he found out that his second wish came true. The realization made him so happy, he could only sob from joy.

A'viloh shed a few tears as well, feeling the tension flow out of G'raha once more. He hoped that G’raha would be more at peace after this happened. A part of him regretted getting him like this but a major part of him (basically Esteem) told him that it was necessary for their changing relationship. It took some time for G'raha's sobs to quiet down and by then, A'viloh's shirt was thoroughly wet. He gave his friend's head a gentle pat, keeping his hand there afterwards.

"No matter how long it takes, I will make you see how important you are--how important you are to me. If you showed how much I meant to you for 100 years, then I can show you the same in less time than that," he swore, patting the back of his head once more.

G'raha kept his face hidden in A'viloh's chest, mulling over his words. After some ticks from his chronometer, he weakly replied. "I… will regain most of the strength that I need to send you back to the Source in a few more days."

Not missing a beat, A'viloh spoke as if he was speaking of the weather, now petting his head. "It brings me much joy to hear that you will. But I am sorry to inform you that I will not be going back that soon."

A long silence. The arms around him uncurled, lifting himself up to look down at the Warrior in much confusion. "But… your duties at the Source--"

"--are of the Source and will remain at the Source," A'viloh finished, strong arms wrapping around G'raha to bring him back down. They will be having none of that today. The other hesitated, coming down slightly but still kept himself up. They diverted the Calamity in the First, but what of the Source?

A'viloh's grip tightened, frowning a bit. "I trust everyone to hold the fort back there. When I left, we had enough peace to think, aid the wounded, and to start replenishing supplies. I am sure that is still happening. Adding to that, I do not think I will be of much help." G'raha visibly relaxed, showing some acceptance and settled back on A'viloh, keeping his arms on either side of him.

"Plus, there is much to be done here. However, that will come another day. There are some things that I would like to take care of today." He felt G'raha swallow, curling up a bit on top of him. He eased into the next subject, feeling that he had done enough with the previous topic. For now.

"I wish to know, and please be honest with me: what are your reasons in averting me from attending to your ears and throat?"

There it was. G'raha sucked in a breath, pressing his cheek unblemished by crystal on A'viloh's chest. It was sticky and wet; it must feel uncomfortable. His hands balled, closing his eyes as he began to formulate an answer. _'Be honest with me.'_

"...It is hard to miss the… crystal that has enveloped my body." He waited and A'viloh tapped his back twice with his index finger. "How much… do you know of my plan?"

A'viloh quietly reiterated what he had seen in his vision many days ago, though some parts were muddled. It sufficed and made it easier for G'raha to explain.

"This crystal… It… I-I…" Seeing his resolve falter, A'viloh rubbed soothing circles on G'raha's lower back. "Take your time," he mumbled. The movement barely did anything, but he continued. Still, G'raha appreciated it and tried a different way to start.

"My… My wish was for you to remember me as the young man I once was, in mind, body, and spirit. I was so very close to achieving that, for you to never know who I truly was under my hood, but my magick failed me when… I attempted to absorb your Light," he finally let it out, the hand on his back helping more than he thought. Or was it the hand on his upper back?

"My title, my role… I did become the Crystal Exarch, and as such, I had to keep up with the duty. It is a part of myself as it is to everyone in the First. My appearance became a large part of it as well. I am sure that you noticed how I never took off the hood of my cloak or ever let my tail show to anyone. There was so much happening for so long, there would be days, weeks even, where I could not rest." He shifted slightly, A'viloh taking that as the queue to move his hands away. G'raha sat up but curiously did not move away. A'viloh followed and scooted back to press his back on the weathered wooden headboard, criss-crossing his legs. His eyes widened when G'raha followed him, coming close to where their knees touched. His friend fumbled with their hands, paying much attention to them, both crystal and flesh having their own little dance.

"The Tower aided my journey to the First. Without it, I would not have made it. I knew of this and it is a price that I would pay without hesitation many times over. But as such, when it comes to Allagan technology or heritage, the price is always greater than we expect." He lifted his right hand, curling his fingers as he continued.

"The crystal spread over my dominant arm and--oh, I do not need to say more with that, you have treated me after all and have seen where it spread to," he sighed exasperatingly. "What I am spectacularly failing to say is, there are times when the crystal is too much. My… body, if it can be mine anymore, would hinder my progress at times. To aid with this debilitation, I used my magick to numb the nerves in my flesh. Any… sensation on the crystal that I may have is… muted, if you will, and so I would make it lighter. Crystal is heavy, as you know. Mine is no exception," he finished, letting out a deep breath at overcoming that hurdle. While he could not look at the Warrior through his explanation, he felt… better. Liberated. Most likely from the Warrior being the first to know of the truth that disturbed him for so long.

A'viloh stayed silent through the whole explanation, keeping his hands to himself. It was a lot to take in, but it greatly explained past events. He had felt… something beneath G'raha's skin but could not place his finger on it. Yes, the crystal on G'raha was fascinating if not _utterly beautiful,_ but he made it a point to not pay much attention to it for his friend’s sake. It was apparent how much it bothered them, more so when someone tried to touch it or stared too long.

"...Are you ashamed of having this crystal on your body?" The words fell out before he could stop himself, keeping his eyes on G’raha’s fumbling hands. The hard flinch was enough to answer his question. 

"...Shame is one way to put it. I… felt tainted." It was unsightly. Disgusting. Ugly.

"I attempted to hide most of my body with robes and my face with a mask when I emerged from the Tower, but it made my movements sluggish after a few moons. It was hard to gain people's trust behind a mask, and so I donned my current garments. While my face was still partially covered, it was enough. I gained enough reputation to where I was not asked privy questions to myself and my… condition, and I kept it that way."

"Yes, I found as such whenever you were brought up into the conversation," A'viloh mumbled, pleasantly surprised by how strongly the Crystarium people guarded their leader when he first arrived. It made him weary in the beginning but it quickly turned into admiration.

"You say that you felt tained… Do you… still feel that way?"

G'raha turned away, subconsciously hiding his right arm. "...Yes. It is as I said, I wished for you to remember me how I was before I slumbered. To remember my warm shoulder when it would bump against yours or when I crowded around you for childish attention. I never wished for you to know that I was… this. This… Allagan creation. I never wanted for you to touch this tainted flesh. To ever feel this cold crystal of mine." Gods, how foul those words tasted in his mouth. They made his negative thoughts fester more in his mind, and deeply wished for his cowl.

A'viloh's eyes widened to their full extent from the shock he felt at the last revelation. Allagan creation? Did he… did he honestly think that he was--

"Do you see yourself as a _monster_?"

To his horror, G'raha did not deny it. He bowed his head and started to shuffle backwards but was quickly stopped. A small noise of shock came out when the Warrior uncrossed their legs and got close enough to where he cupped the leader’s face, sorrowful eyes searching all over it for something.

No. Absolutely not. He will not see himself this way any longer.

"...I have seen monsters. I have been forced to put them down time and time again. You are _not_ one of them. You will _never_ be one of them. Not **ever**." A few tears rolled down, them almost burning from how… how _angry_ he was to learn of such a thing, his chest heaving as he took in a shallow breath.

No more of this. He was not a monster.

"Your crystal, it is… it is _so beautiful_ , G'raha. So, so very beautiful. The aether that flows through it, _your aether_ … it makes my essence sing every time I feel it. It is so pure, so warm, so… so gentle and loving." He kept cradling G'raha's face, barely able to see the myriad of emotions it held. Gods, how could he not see how _beautiful_ he was.

"You are human. No matter how much crystal you have, you are still human. Even if you are an Allagan child, you are not like the ones in the past; the ones that ignored what was moral and pursued the immoral,” A’viloh clarified. “ _They_ were the monsters, G'raha. Not you. You will never, _ever_ be one of them." Wet lips kissed the top of his love’s forehead. Then his cheeks. Then his nose.

"Mark my words, G'raha Tia: **I will never see you as a monster**. **I will never see your crystal flesh as malignant. And you will never be tainted in my eyes**. I swear this with the very heart that swells with love for you."

He didn't… see him that way? He wasn't… tainted?

He wasn't repulsed by him?

"...Truly…?" A'viloh blinked back the tears when he heard G'raha's whimper. He kissed his nose again.

"Truly."

"Y-You are not disgusted by it?"

Another kiss, this time on G’raha’s now wet cheek. "I never have been and I never will."

"You do not mind how, how s-strange it feels…?" A kiss on his other cheek, his chest blooming with warmth when he heard a sniffle.

"I have made sure to not touch your crystal flesh from how much you would push me away from it. What I have been able to feel, I did not "mind" it. On the contrary, it feels delightful. When you are ready, I would like to feel more of it."

Another sniff and another whimper. Truly…?

"...Do you promise?"

A'viloh's tears had stopped, now able to fully take in G'raha's expression. There was still fear but slowly, hope was emerging. Acceptance. Relief. Immense relief.

Giving a long kiss to the crystal on his cheek, A'viloh gave him one of his warmest smiles. It was one that he gave to his sister when she feared telling him of wanting to become an adventurer. The warmth spread throughout his body and brought new air into his lungs. He hoped with all of his being that G'raha felt the same.

"I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, lots of things happened there! It was definitely a roller-coaster from the things that were talked about and the emotions that they both felt. I tried my best to not have either of them cry too much, but there had to be some there from how sensitive the topics are.
> 
> I’m sure that many of you just want these two Seekers to get going with the emotions and notions of love, but… well, it doesn’t always work out that way, you know? It’s a journey and one that they both have to experience from how deep they both are as people. I hope very much that I can convey that without it getting too old ^^;; But they’re getting there, and I hope that I am showing that.
> 
> Now! -claps- As for the written work! It took me a while to find the right one given the context in this chapter, but I think I nailed it. The one work that comes to mind is “refraction” by demios (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19804003). I just read it right before posting this and the emotions that I felt the very first time I read it were still there, along with all of the times I’ve re-read this beautiful work. The author has a way with words and they really did a magnificent job with the two main topics in this work. Please give it a read, you definitely won’t regret it!
> 
> As for the artist, this is one that I have followed for a while and their works are so, so cute. Their depictions of G’raha and their WoL, along with other characters is incredibly wholesome, even if I don’t understand what they’re saying! The artist is hayabi (@xxxpaper) on Twitter (https://twitter.com/xxxpaper). They have a store as well that has a lot of cute works, please give it a look, along with their adorable art!
> 
> I know that I can get quite wordy, so I’ll try to wrap this up. Thank you so, so much for all of the lovely comments on the first chapter, they truly bring me much happiness from how kind you all are. And the amount of kudos I have received, I was absolutely blown away and I can never thank you all enough, and won’t stop thanking you all. You are all incredibly kind people and such feedback really does keep me motivated to keep posting and to keep creating and showing what my mind conjures up. If you have the time to leave a comment or a kudo, please don’t hesitate to do so, I am sure that other authors would agree that it definitely makes their day and really fuels them to keep doing what they’re doing ^^
> 
> Thank you so much again! Please stay safe, stay healthy, and be well, everyone!!


	4. ...the Strength and Determination That My Warrior of Light Always Possesses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “P-Pretty?!” G’raha stuttered, the moment effectively _over_. A’viloh laughed, not moving his nose away as he breathed him in.
> 
> ~o~o~
> 
> "T-There is no-nothing to apologize for, friend. Come, let us see what I-I can make you before your stomach demands a sacrifice," he laughed, wiping a stray tear.
> 
> ~o~o~
> 
> “....When we leave this Tower, can we be like this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -gets on her hands and knees- I am so sorry for how long this took to come out!! There were some things that I needed to change in this chapter from having changed things in Chapter 2, May was a crazy month because of various reasons, and just @___@
> 
> But this chapter is out now, and it’s long to make up for my lateness! And I wasn’t completely hibernating, I have future chapters already written and am still writing ^^
> 
> Before we begin! I made a carrd a while back, and have done a terrible job in speaking up about it! I uh, am really bad in speaking about myself or about the things that I do, so I thought this would work! :’D Please do check it out as it not just has information about myself, but also about my two OC’s, A’viloh being one of them! There are spoilers for future chapters in the carrd, but I have marked them, so just read carefully: https://vividreminisce.carrd.co/
> 
> And a couple of warnings before I let y’all dig in: for the first warning, not much in terms of story canon happens for the next few chapters, as I wrote lots, and I do mean LOTS, of romantic/cute moments; they make up for all of the angsty moments that happened in my first series ^^
> 
> The second warning, which is a spoiler but needs to be spoken about, is that G’raha loses his sense of taste and smell in this chapter, which unfortunately are new symptoms that come with covid-19. This was not intentional in the least, as this chapter was written months before these new symptoms came to light, and I apologize greatly for that. I have done my best to find the places that make mention of these symptoms, and the beginning and ending of the sections that mention them start with *** so please use CTRL + F and put those symbols in to find them so that you can skip those sections if they are triggering to you.
> 
> And the third warning is, there is nothing really explicit in this chapter, but there is mention of naughty thoughts, so just as heads up ^^;; I have never really written NSFW (or at least published it online) so I apologize if any of it reads awkwardly, I tried my best ^^;;
> 
> As always, the post notes make mention of a piece of writing that either inspired me greatly for the current chapter, touches upon themes featured in this chapter, or is similar in context with my chapter. The one featured in this one is one of my most favorite one-shots that has ever been written and I cannot stress enough for y’all to read until the end to see what it is! I have also made mention of an artist in the post notes and this artist’s works greatly inspired future chapters, so please look forward to that.
> 
> Without further ado, please enjoy!! :D

He was sure that he had smiled this happily in the past. Perhaps not as much since coming back to the Tower, but surely somewhere in the not too distant past. A moon ago? ...Maybe a summer ago?

No, he has. He remembered this feeling when he saw his accomplishment past the guard post and the smile that remained on his face while he showed them around the crystal city.

But for the life of him, he could not remember the last time he smiled like this for _himself_.

A’viloh scooted close, angling his legs to where he could get close enough to nuzzle G’raha’s crystal cheek, giving it a light kiss. “There’s that pretty smile.”

…

“P-Pretty?!” G’raha stuttered, the moment effectively _over_. A’viloh laughed, not moving his nose away as he breathed him in.

“Yes, pretty. It is a smile that came from the heart. I hope I can see more of them.” The position was awkward, him needing to lean in to give G’raha the love he deserved. Subtly, he shifted so that the leader’s side was on his chest, his arms naturally wrapping around his waist, wanting to keep him close but made it seem like he was embracing the leader. “Do let me know when I am too much, though. I realize that sometimes my words may bring discomfort. And do not hesitate to push me away when I should keep my hands to myself, I will understand,” he said, giving his waist a light squeeze.

He knew his faults and weaknesses; it was why he kept himself at a distance and let very few people in. It was easier to be pleasant and helpful to those around him if it meant that he could keep some type of acquaintance relationship without them being privy to his life. But when it came to those that he let into his heart, he couldn’t help himself in showing how much he loved them. He could be overbearing and he knew it, as did they, which is why they would do their best to keep him on his toes. It was a problem in the beginning but they got used to it over the years. He would just give, and give, and _give._ Some would reprimand him while others would give back, effectively halting his next gift from him not being able to compute (no, _he_ was the giver, not the other way around).

And now that he had the one that he loved the most right there in front of him… His battle with self-restraint will be one that he will lose to very quickly.

Leaning back, he let go of his lover’s waist and brought his hands back to his sides to prove a point, however, they were quickly grabbed, much to his surprise.

So many countless dreams, so many beautiful daydreams--the leader knew that he liked to be held. G’raha loved being held that closely; after all, the only other person who he had embraced was his granddaughter and the children in his city. Sure, he would get the occasional pat from those he let that close or the one sided hug from Bragi or Glynard, but that was it. Oh, and the hand clasping from the few elders that remained whenever they were in the markets. But that was all.

After having no touch for so long, he _yearned_ for it. And the moment that the Warrior… _his_ Warrior, embraced him, it opened the doors to the wants that he had. He couldn’t call them _needs_ , but… should he not get them again… should he not be close to his Warrior again…

His hesitation faded at that, getting more comfortable against his Warrior’s chest. It was like their arms were his blanket, wrapping one tightly around his waist and bringing the other hand to his lips, giving the back of it a faint kiss. Though his cheeks burned, he did not let go, laying his right hand over the arm snaked around his waist, and clutched the other arm to his chest. Shyly, he tipped his head up, hoping that his Warrior understood the message; that he _wanted_ to be held and that his Warrior was _not_ too much.

“I… I will let you know. We… ” _We_. He gulped at the word, bowing his head momentarily as he brought A’viloh’s arm higher, grasping his hand as it settled comfortably on the base of his throat before looking back up. Could he feel his thundering heart? “W-we have much to get through. Our…. o-our relationship, we will get more comfortable with it. But please, let me know when _I_ am not doing enough.” He did not let go of his hand still, and despite the intimate position, his flush disappeared as it was his turn to get stern, looking at A’viloh with no compromise. “I do not mean basic necessities. I know full well that I… stay silent with much of my wants. I will work on that fault. However, from the time that you have spent in this city, I have heard more than I can count on how much you have helped and have given to the citizens, while refusing to receive much or anything in return.”

A’viloh flushed, both from the actions that his beacon had taken as well as from knowing where the conversation was headed, hearing “that talk” plenty of times. ‘I guess it was time for me to hear it from him,’ he thought lightly, paying more attention to their current position. Azeyma preserve, he was _this_ close to kissing him mercilessly, what with how he was forced to look down and how tightly G’raha was clutching his arm. He could almost see his reflection in his lover’s eyes, and he wondered if they could feel _his_ pounding heart.

“Judging from your expression, you have heard this talk before. As someone who cares for your well-being, I implore you, if it is within my power, _please_ … let me know of your wants and needs.” From the looks of it, G’raha thought of his expression as embarrassed, and had continued. Because of that, he took a deep breath, following his Warrior’s advice and trusted his instincts.

Carefully, he brought his Warrior’s arm down, shifting so that he was once again facing them, arm no longer around his waist. Looking back and forth between their legs, he knew what he wanted but getting there… by the gods, did he need the courage to get there. Moving to the side, he gulped before swiftly bringing his Warrior’s legs together. Step one, done.

He didn’t want his Warrior to figure out what he was trying to do, and thus did his shaking hands reach over to hold his Warrior’s now very warm face, his thundering heart being the only sound he could hear. Follow his heart, follow his heart…!

“...More importantly, I… will never push you away. To do so is to choose death. I did this for you, my beautiful inspiration. All of this was for you. As so, as the person you hold so close to your heart and… l-love so dearly, I ask for the same: show me your wants and tell me your needs.”

The Warrior registered after a few beats what was on his lips and the weight on his lap, ears pin-straight and forward. His tail had straightened behind him, a semi-hard thump on the wall heard a moment after from the shock.

As he talked, G'raha strategically placed himself on A’viloh’s lap, wanting to get as close to him as possible as they kissed. One step done, and then another one.

His eyes slowly closed the moment his lips reached A’viloh’s, leaning more into the kiss. Slower still, he tilted his head just so, his shaking hands becoming more comfortable on his Warrior’s face, their hold gentle and the strokes of his thumbs light.

This was right. Yes, this was very, _very_ right.

A’viloh was at a loss, in a _good way_ , and knew that this moment would pass too soon if he didn't reciprocate as he heard his heartbeat in his ears. Though his mind couldn’t compute ( _he_ was being kissed! His love had kissed _him_ first! And _they were on_ his _lap_ ) from being given something, his body obeyed G’raha’s words, eyes closing as well and kissed back. Once again, his arms went around G’raha’s smaller form, the leader inhaling deeply when he felt them and the Warrior shifted so that his back was against the headboard behind them once more. Flesh and crystal hands trailed down his face, A’viloh shivering from the sensation and almost breaking the kiss. He expected them to go into his tangled hair, but instead the leader’s arms went around his neck, bringing him more into the kiss. The leader parted briefly to take a deep breath, the Warrior doing the same as the former fully pushed against him, bringing his lips on him again to kiss him that much harder, the latter having no wiggle room from the hard headboard behind him as his ears swiveled back. His lips parted and he pushed back, ready to ask for permission--

_Groooan_

A'viloh stiffened, the kiss halted as both people's ears swiveled forward at the sound, neither breaking the kiss.

_Groooooan_

‘This… _cannot_ be happening _._ ’

‘ _Oh my, does the Warrior hunger? Was this not enough? What a gluttonous Warrior~_ ’

‘Shut _up_ , Esteem…!!’

His bottom lip trembled, G'raha leaning back, a small sound coming out. A'viloh kept his eyes shut, squeezing them as he buried his face in G’raha’s shoulder, ears pinned to his head. Out of all the times…!

"It seems that a certain Warrior is in need of food," the leader stated slowly, voice odd. A'viloh was too mortified to make sense of it, his stomach continuing its sounds. As much as he wanted to curse at it, he really couldn't blame it; he had only eaten one meal yesterday and it was filling enough for a few hours. He hoped that him being mortified dried his tear ducts, him pretty close to bursting into tears from wanting this _so badly._

"I am so, so sorry," he apologized, words muffled as he brought G’raha closer to him, really needing the comfort right now. 'This is humiliating, it was starting to get so good too...' he thought sadly, tail coming to wrap around his waist as his shoulders slumped, all of his energy leaving him as he thankfully did _not_ cry.

He jumped when he heard a snort and then a slight laugh. He lifted his head to take a peek, one ear coming up as G'raha tried to silence his giggling. He was failing, hands over his mouth until he could no longer contain them, laughing straight from the belly. A'viloh leaned fully back, arms still around his lover as he stared in love-struck awe from how natural the sound came, cheeks warm again.

Any feelings of humiliation left, so entranced by how free the sounds were. He looked so, so lovely…

"T-There is no-nothing to apologize for, friend. Come, let us see what I-I can make you before your stomach demands a sacrifice," he laughed, wiping a stray tear. Gods, he hadn’t laughed that hard since… Oh, since his time in Kholusia. My, that was such a lovely time, even if short.

A'viloh couldn't help himself in stealing a quick kiss from adrenaline coursing through his veins, ears swiveled back as he stuttered out. "Instead of a sacrifice, I… I-I wish to treat you after the meal. And I…" he didn't want such a moment to end, thinking quickly of what more they could do together. If all truly was well, they would need to leave the Tower and, and…

"...I-I wish to brush your hair, ears, and tail!" Yes, surely that will take a while! It was close to getting matted and maybe he could get some other lovely reactions from him.

G'raha blinked rapidly, cheeks turning pink at the action. That kiss felt wonderful, and if he had given one, perhaps he could sneak one too. He was one short if he counted right.

"Brush my…" he looked down and his tail fluffed out when he saw the untamed fur. Gods, he had just barely brushed it…

...a couple of days ago… Oh.

If that was how his tail looked, surely his ears and tail were not as bad… S-Surely.

"I-If that is your wish. My… ears should not take too long, thankfully. And my hair is short enough to where it should not be as tangled…"

A mischievous grin appeared on A’viloh’s lips at that, glancing at the shimmering crystal wall behind him. Patting the leader’s hips, they got the hint as they quickly crawled off, but A’viloh didn’t let him get far, grabbing his hands. This was going to be a reaction that will give him much strength for many days.

"Hmmm, I think you should give yourself a quick look, my dear." G'raha's blush went down to his neck at that, being placed in front of a crystal wall. The wall brightened enough to where he could see his form better, leaning forward slightly.

…

…….

…

"Good gods!!"

=====

After trying to get the flustered leader to stop hiding under the covers from embarrassment, A'viloh happily pushed him out of the room and into the washroom, fresh clothes in his arms and bag over his shoulder. The leader had forgotten about the meal, giving A'viloh the chance to hopefully make something in return. He shivered slightly at the change in temperature, the bathroom somehow colder than the rest of the Tower. He didn't question it, instructing the fidgeting leader to take a nice long shower.

"A shower?"

A'viloh nodded. "Yes. We could just soak your hair and tail, but why not just fully clean yourself? Ah, but before that, let us see how your back wound is doing, hm?"

G'raha briefly chewed on his lip, stopping himself from wrangling his shirt. He shouldn't be so nervous, the-- _his_ \--Warrior had seen his back a few times already. But… after the morning they had, his nerves got the better of him. A'viloh saw his hesitation, shoulders drooping slightly at reading his mind. His stance went more reassuring, keeping his voice soft and eyes understanding. He had asked for a lot from his friend already, reminding himself of how new this must all be for him. He had never gotten this injured in the past, thank his lucky stars, which meant that no one must have ever seen how much his body had crystallized.

And that also meant that no one else had touched him this much other than himself.

"You do not have to undress, I can lift your shirt for a quick look and leave you to your own devices. From what I saw, you were healing rapidly on your own." Short, logical, reassuring, and with a compromise. That should hopefully be enough.

G'raha seemed to consider that, his tail that had curled between his legs relaxing enough to come out. A'viloh smiled slightly from that, honored that he would let his natural instincts come out in front of him. It was not much, but it was a start. G'raha looked up, giving A'viloh a small smile as his hands grabbed his collar.

"It… is alright. After all, you have had to see this… body of mine to treat me. Should it have been anyone else, I would have found a way to check the wound on my own. I… I trust you. I just... need to have courage," he finished quietly. A'viloh's smile faltered at the first part but warmth quickly spread through him by the time G'raha finished, wanting nothing more but to shower him with praise at the big step he was taking. It was one thing for someone to take action for a loved one; it is another when they have the resolve to do it on their own.

Slowly, G'raha's hands pulled the shirt, stopping halfway as if to reconsider but pushed through, swiftly taking off the shirt in one movement. He didn't shudder or show any sign of the cold biting his skin, taking deep, calming breaths. It took everything in A'viloh to not hold him close, the leader looking so… small and lost. Taking a deep breath himself, he got close as G'raha instinctively closed himself in, subconsciously using the shirt as a stress reliever. A'viloh made full sure to never touch him and kept a comfortable distance, concentrating on the wound. It was healing much faster than he expected, the wound almost completely closed. He hypothesized that the wound would fill with crystal in a week's time, maybe less, though the surface might never be perfectly smooth and have a slight dip. The newly created crystal was starting to have the same color as the rest and he could barely see the red hue from the very beginning. Overall, it would be as if nothing happened.

"How… how does it look?" G'raha whispered, voice much weaker than he expected. The wound must look hideous, keeping himself still and willing himself to not shiver; the Tower's magick was helping tremendously, him barely feeling the chill.

A'viloh came around, giving G'raha a warm smile, eyes crinkling at the edges. "The wound is healing wonderfully. In a week's time, maybe less, all will be as it was. However, do not fret if you feel a slight groove. That is how scars are, believe me."

G’raha’s thoughts on himself stopped, clutching his shirt more to him. Scars… he had tried very hard to not focus on his Warrior's many scars when treating him the other day, though he did accidentally look over his shoulder when they were changing. The front side of his body was littered with them, as well as his back. And his legs and arms… Shoulders and neck… His hands and fingers… The back of his calves, the one that ran down his right eye… There were so many of them…

Did he accept them? Did he hate them? Was he self-conscious by them too?

A'viloh's ear flicked at the growing silence, wondering if he had said too much. When questioned if he had heard, G'raha quickly shook his head and apologized, confirming that he heard everything and thanking him. The Warrior nodded and rummaged through his bag, just now thinking of the toiletries.

"I am not too sure where your toiletries are, but you are more than welcome to use mine," he offered, knowing full well of the implication. He just hoped that he wasn't stepping out of bounds by what might seem like an intimate gesture.

"Toiletries…?" Looking around, the leader realised how sparse the washroom was. Remembering the Warrior's words the other day of showering, his messily fluffed out ears went down, even more embarrassed by the revelation. Azeyma preserve, he was a terrible host.

"I… did not take that into account. You see, I barely use this floor of the Tower and have neglected to keep the rooms in check. I cannot begin to imagine how you managed to wash up…" Oh gods, he didn't use the soap in the kitchen, did he…?!

A'viloh paused, ears forward at the implication. He looked over at G'raha with curiosity. "This floor…? I know that this Tower had other floors, but I did not realize that they held other living quarters." Is that why all of the rooms were devoid of life, because there were others that he used?

G'raha relaxed slightly, coming slightly closer, curious at what his Warrior was looking for in that bag of his. "Ah, yes. While this floor holds mostly all of what one might need, it is… how shall I say, not my preferred floor. The bedroom that we were in, I very rarely use it for slumber and instead store whatever books I cannot hold in the Umbilicus."

A'viloh finally found the glass jars he needed and set them aside as he looked up at G'raha with great interest from that fact. He didn't want to push, but the leader _did_ explain on his own. "I see… Then, you have a preferred floor?"

G'raha shifted his weight, keeping his gaze on the jars as he explained. "Yes. It is… freer than this one. More… personalized, if you will."

The Warrior leaned forward, curiosity starting to eat at him. "Personalized… by you?" An entire floor decorated by him? Tailored to his needs? How much could he gain with seeing what he stored? What did he like? What did he have lots of, other than books? What could the Warrior _give_?

G'raha's right ear swiveled forward at A'viloh's tone of voice, looking up, and his eyes widened at how his Warrior’s eyes _shined_. What thoughts did he have in his head at the moment?

"Y… Yes?" G'raha answered in confusion. Was he that interested in seeing more of the Tower? His Warrior had climbed it and had seen most of what it had to give. Although, there were still several rooms that had been locked and only G'raha could open. And then there were those that he had dabbled with whenever he didn't feel too suffocated in the Tower.

"Would… you like to see them? The, the rooms, I mean? There is not much, but if you are interested…"

A'viloh's ears went forward once more, grinning widely at the offer. Being able to learn more about him, seeing more of him, _exploring more of the Tower_.

"That would be grand! I will take you up on that offer. For now, though, enjoy your warm shower." A'viloh was almost dancing in his spot, tail flicking in much glee. If he could find more about G'raha and be in places where he could be more comfortable, then the leader could relax more, be freer, and feel more at home.

Going back to his bag, he pulled out a clean set of towels and set them on the rack by the shower head. Clapping his hands, he turned on his heel to face the leader. "That should be it. Now…" His expression turned serious, beginning his explanation and pointed to each item.

"That purple jar is shampoo infused with lavender while the clear one is lemongrass shampoo. If you wish for a cooler type, the light green one has mint in it. The murkier jar is the conditioner and it has no scent. Use a good amount and let it stay on your ears, tail, and the tips of your hair for a good while. That orange bar is made of honey and orange, the sickly green one has oil from olives, and the creamy one is made from oats." Once done, his expression relaxed and he smiled brightly, grabbing his bag. "Take all the time that you need and I will have some type of meal for us when you are done. Enjoy."

And with a quick bow, he was gone.

=====

To say that he was left speechless was an understatement. He didn't know where to begin, wide eyes looking over the items that took over the small table by the wash basin.

'I knew that he was fond of these kinds of items but… to have so many…'

It was no surprise that the leader had known that fact from the countless times he would check in on the Warrior using the portal's mirror. Time and time again he would find them making such items, spending days with the ingredients, though they only did one item at a time. Yes, G'raha wasn't able to smell the concoctions, but he wagered they smelled good from the many ingredients they would use. He also didn't know if they were for himself or for others, but he was willing to bet on all of the artifacts that he had that it was the latter from the Warrior being such a giver. If they were doing anything too personal, he would immediately close the portal with flushed cheeks and leave it at that. To think that they used such items on themselves…

He got closer to them, sliding his left index finger down the olive bar. Rubbing it with his thumb, he was expecting some type of dense substance to remain and make his skin rougher. To his surprise, nothing stayed, a slight oil on his pads.

Eyeing the sunset orange bar, he carefully picked it up as he walked over to the shower head to turn it on.

'He used this on himself…'

His mind blanked at that thought, bar almost sliding out his hand. This bar had touched his Warrior.

Stepping closer to the freezing cold water, he let the bar soak and started to slowly lather his hands, dazed eyes focusing on nothing.

'This went over his arms and neck… and his legs and chest…'

Soap bubbles covered his numb hands, feeling himself get warm in many places. Places he had forgotten. Places that his Warrior had touched. Places that this bar had touched his Warrior.

Places that he dreamed he could touch.

With a full body shudder, he shook his head many times, rinsing off his hands and arms. None of that. He… he needed to shower. His Warrior was waiting for him.

_"Take all the time that you need."_

…

'...Mayhap I can take a bit longer…'

Making sure that the water was just right (and the door was locked), he began, starting to slowly relax. His thoughts drifted to what was to come, what had happened, and to last night and this morning.

His faded hair was more tangled than he expected, not able to run his fingers through like he normally could and he flinched when he tried to do the same with his tail. He definitely had let his fur go.

He turned to the glass jars, remembering what each one was and automatically went for the purple one, getting warmer as his thoughts began to drift once again.

'His favorite scent… If I wear this, will he be able to smell it? Will it relax him?'

He could fully imagine it, his Warrior having a deep conversation with him, close, and subtly getting closer. A normal inhale and their nose in his hair moments after, inhaling the scent deeply. Apologising for being in his personal space, and yet not moving away. It was a shame that none of the bars were lavender scented for his Warrior to get even closer with it.

The orange bar went over his skin, ears falling back as he thought of it being his Warrior's hands, grabbing his wrist and taking another deep breath. They would place a light kiss over his veins, bringing his lips further up his arms, reaching his shoulders.

Bubbles formed over his skin as he scrubbed thoroughly, his own breaths being quick as the bar reached his chest. A strong hand would go over his heart, and then his warm lips. They would move to the right over to his most sensitive skin, his tongue would lick his nipple, and then suck until it was perked to his liking.

G'raha's thumb circled around it, flicking it once as a test before he started tweaking it, his circling getting quicker. There was just enough feeling for his toes to curl, but he needed _more_.

'If I could just let my magic dissipate… Just one moment, just for a few breaths...’

Just a bit of feeling over his skin, just a hint of pleasure.

But it was not meant to be as logic took over, and his failed summoning attempts plagued his mind, keeping him in check. ‘...No… No…'

Sighing deeply, he let his hand fall as the feeling left him, that same numbness coming back. He couldn't let go yet.

'Once Norvrandt is well enough, maybe… we can venture into those waters. For now, we must leave this Tower and see what lies ahead.'

Not yet. There was too much to do, and too much that his Warrior didn’t know. Then again, their Echo might have shown them enough, and that sense of unknowing was enough to vanish his selfish thoughts.

***Resuming his scrubbing with pursed lips, he put another healthy dollop of shampoo on his hair and tail (to make it extra clean, he assured himself) and let the conditioner sit afterwards. As he let time pass, he found it odd that the relaxing aroma of lavender did not fill the room. Surely he has used enough already, though he was responsible with the portions. And the bar of soap, he should have immediately picked up on the scent; oranges were his favorite fruit after all.

Reaching for the soap once more, he took a deep breath… and nothing. He accidentally got some on his lips from how close he had gotten it and expected to taste soap when he licked his lips.

But tasted nothing.

'...Oh dear.'***

=====

"I did it again, Hubs. I went overboard."

There was the Warrior, miserably pressing their face against his fat cat that was comfortably lying on the kitchen table, purring to their heart’s content because of the Warrior's cuddling.

He thought he had done well enough, had given the leader enough options to fully enjoy their shower (he just wanted them to be comfortable!) but not enough to overwhelm them. Then came the horror-filled realization as he rummaged through his bag to find that he had given them _everything he had_.

"They must think of me as obsessive and, and childish. I ruined their image of me. Again." He moped, pressing his face further into his adorable cat’s fur. They only let out a small "mrr", tucking their legs further under them, quite used to being the Warrior's pillow and cuddle giver.

"I'll... I'll apologize and tell them that it won't happen again."

_'Or, you can just ask them if it was too much for them.'_

"But… what if they lie just to make me feel better?"

_'Tell them to tell you the truth. And don't look like you destroyed your favorite toy."_

“I don't look like that!”

_'Of course you don't. You just look like you're going to cry if anyone so mentions your soaps and shampoos.'_

A'viloh's shoulders drooped, lightly placing his chin on Hub's back. He felt his nose start to run and rubbed it quickly. Gods, it had been a while since he felt this embarrassed to the point of tears. He really needed to hold back more on being himself; at least, that’s what he told himself. But the thought of getting to brush G'raha's hair… and his ears… and his tail… that temptation was too much. He only wanted his hair silky smooth, hence having given him so many options and products; it was incredibly tangled, after all, and he didn't want to cause him pain.

Brown ears perked up, smiling to himself. Yeah, he'll say that!

...After he apologized.

Rubbing his cheek against one of Hub's chubby one, he set them down under the table and started looking through the many cupboards. He quickly got overwhelmed by the amount of ingredients he couldn'tuse from not knowing _how_ to use them. It was too early for vegetables (at least he thought so), pasta was too much, meats would take too long to take away the frost, and only the Twelve knew when the leader would come out. 

Oh gods, was he almost done?

He paled at that, straining his ears to hear whatever noise he could from the bathroom. He picked up the faint sounds of running water, and sighed in relief; he still had time, thankfully. But he still needed to figure out what to make, and fast. Oh, and not as filling. And wouldn't upset their stomach. The leader was still very active, but that didn’t mean that his digestive system could handle everything.

Quick, easy on the stomach, healthy…

As he turned, vivid colors from the far cupboard caught his eye. A wide grin came up as his tail swayed a bit faster from figuring it out.

He jumped to the cooler, quickly finding a yogurt-like substance (and tasted like it too). Hugging the ingredients to him, he went about making a parfait, cutting the apples and bananas (half an ilm, he reminded himself), served it in two mugs (half the size for his love, he doesn't need to eat as much as you do, Fray reminded), and voila!

He was just about done in setting the table with utensils, juice, and bread when he heard the kitchen door open. Turning around, he started to speak to the owner of the Tower when the scent hit him like an aldgoat charging at him in full force, words fading.

Soothing lavender and citrus orange, all mixed in with the dressed Exarch. Well, half-dressed by the standards of the uniform.

Dressed in only his black cowl, he cautiously came in, briefly looking around until he spotted the Warrior. G’raha’s hair and fur were still heavily tangled, maybe more than before, but it looked much healthier. There was also more color to his cheeks, but A'viloh deduced it to be from the shower. He would have examined him more if it weren't for the scent taunting him, his tail flicking once, and then twice.

G'raha closed the door behind him, eyes widening slightly at the quaint breakfast on the table. Two different sized parfaits, bread rolls with a side of jam, and juice. Not too much, not too little.

He took a few steps closer, looking up at the Warrior once more. He felt their intense stare while he was examining the table and he didn't look away when they locked gazes. G'raha noted their dilated pupils and agitated tail, hoping that his smile didn’t reveal his intentions. He could almost _feel_ how much the Warrior wanted to pounce on him from the scent, putting aside the thought that he may have used a bit much of the shampoo. This was… more fun than he thought, keeping his normal smile on his face.

Tearing his eyes away from his Warrior, he did his best to pay attention to the breakfast as he took a few steps closer. "Ah, you found the bread and jam. Lyna and I always put them in different places, you see, and I admit that I can never find them when it is her turn to restock."

It took A’viloh his all to stay put. Good gods did it take him his all to stay put. The scent, it was… _it was incredible_.

"Is that… a parfait? The fruit is nicely cut and… ah, am I to assume that the smaller one is mine?"

His fingers delicately went over the rim of his cup, the strawberry that the Warrior neatly put on top flopping over. Slowly, he put it upright, daring to glance at the chef. He almost did a double take when he saw how tense his Warrior's muscles were, how they tried to unclench their hands and appear "normal".

As if their dilated eyes, upright tail and swiveled forward ears could hide their want.

‘So transparent… Is this the “real” Warrior of Light…?’

A'viloh swallowed thickly, quietly breathing through his mouth, almost _tasting_ the oranges and lavender. Would it… would it be too much if he had a little dessert before breakfast…?

Noticing the stretching silence, he cleared his throat, keeping his eyes on the items in question.

"Ah… Yes. I wasn't sure how hungry you would be, so I thought it best to be light. Should you want more, I will do my utmost to make that happen." He paid no mind to how his voice broke at the first half, slowly becoming normal as he continued. Be subtle, test the waters, see what he would like.

But when the leader looked at him with such warmth and had that soft smile, how could he not want to take him in his arms, chest to chest and synchronize his heart with theirs?

"Ever conscientious. I thank you. Shall we dig into your creation?"

With a stiff nod, he joined the leader at the table, not knowing whether to curse or have joy from coincidentally putting the food so close to each other.

This, this was another trial. It had to be.

Stealing a glance at the leader, he noticed how gracefully they sat, one leg tucked behind the other. They stayed true to their word in letting the Warrior brush their hair, needing to tuck their damp locks when taking the first bite. He knew that he was staring at this point, but he wanted to see how they liked the food. That was the only reason, of course.

"I hope it is edible enough," he sheepishly broke the silence, fumbling with his own spoon. The different scents were still heavy in the air, but putting his attention elsewhere helped tremendously. He just hoped it wasn't making the leader uncomfortable.

Taking a second bite, G'raha made sure to wipe his mouth before he answered, giving the Warrior a bright smile. "It is more than edible; it is quite delicious. Though, if I may, it is particularly hard to butcher a parfait."

"Perhaps. You would be surprised at how clueless I can be when it comes to cooking," A'viloh confessed with a nervous laugh, lightly scratching his cheek.

G'raha hummed, subtly turning towards the Warrior. Eyeing their untouched parfait, he slowly brought it closer to them as he took another spoonful of his.

"This is the first meal I have had that was made from you, and so, the only example I have. Careful, calculated, considerate, that is what I deduce when looking at mine.” Moving one of his blueberries around, he smiled a bit more when the Warrior tried to hide him winding his tail around his leg, followed by a faint blush. They took a big spoonful from their parfait, trying their best to hide almost choking on it. ‘Ahh… They’re embarrassed.”

“The more that I think of it, this reminds me very much of the creations you left for me to use in my washing. I thank you for them, however, I must apologize again for not having provided you with any.” It was his turn to get embarrassed, tucking his right calf behind his left one more.

“Oh, it’s quite alright. You explained that you barely used this floor, so I understand. Plus, I am fortunately prepared from never knowing where I must go next. If anyone must apologize, it’s me.” Putting his sponge down and ignoring the scents, he too turned to the leader and leaned on his arm, expression nervous. “I apologize deeply for overbearing you with my concoctions. It did not occur to me that I did too much. A-Also, in regards to doing too much, I ah, realize that there are things I have done that could have upset you--no, I _know_ upset you--from days prior. Such as me pl-placing you--” this was harder than he thought, getting redder with each sentence. Whatever courage he had completely went out the window, not able to look G'raha in the eye as he forced himself to continue.

“--placing you on me for that one treatment. Yo-You see, when treating petrification, yes the normal medicine works but then the body needs to regulate their temperature, and the chirurgeons can use either fire crystals or natural body heat. I prefer to use the latter, with consent, of course, but I never asked, though I couldn’t--b-but still, I deeply apologize. Oh, and for when I raised my voice the other day, and also when I pushed for certain things to go a certain way, and for--” For the life of him, he could not stop. This was a long time coming, he knew that, and just kept going and going _and going_. As he continued, he kept shifting in his seat and became more and more animated with his hands. The grand majority who did not know the true Warrior would have found it highly amusing, if not almost frightening. No one would have imagined that the Warrior of Light/Darkness could get this nervous as well as apologetic.

It surprised the Exarch too and he might have gotten even more surprised if it weren’t for everything that both experienced in the past week and more. The more the Warrior continued, the more he apologized for the most frivolous of things. It worried the leader, not having realized as to how much A’viloh remembered when it came to “mistakes” or on anything that was remotely inconsiderate.

It was this worry that compelled him to lean forward and place two fingers over his Warrior’s lips. Said Warrior immediately stopped, ears pinned straight to the point of where his earrings clicked from the movement. That didn’t last long however, and they spoke before the Exarch could.

“Oh… I said too much, didn’t I,” A’viloh quietly mumbled against G’raha’s fingertips. They started to close themselves in, shoulders coming forward but G’raha didn’t let them. He stood up in one swoop before he cupped his Warrior’s face. He almost didn’t but when he saw the hurt in his eyes and _how easily it came up_ , he knew he had to do something, even if he wasn't sure of what he was doing.

G’raha quickly shook his head, getting more comfortable with his action; this was for them, they _needed_ this. “No, you did not say too much. More so…” How could he put it delicately without adding more fuel to the fire?

His left thumb lightly went over his Warrior’s face markings, eliciting a shudder from them. This felt so natural, he could do this all day if he had the time. No, no, his Warrior was waiting, wide brown hues looking up at him, no longer leaning on the table. And, finally, he was taller than them. “I understand. I understand your apologies, and I forgive you. I too have done many wrongs, but I have said so much of them, I fear my words no longer hold meaning in that respect.”

As G’raha took a step closer, A’viloh was forced to lean back, feeling the wooden chair on his back. The leader’s fingers moved slightly from the Warrior’s hard swallow, not moving away and letting G’raha come to him. He instinctively spread his legs to let him come closer, but noticed that the leader’s knees were already hitting the chair. G’raha glanced down, his courage starting to falter from knowing what action he could take.

What was the Warrior speaking about again? An apology? Yes, he was apologizing, but that didn’t matter at the moment. Something else was happening, something more important--something that if he did not take and reciprocate, the opportunity would leave, just like how it did in the morning.

His Warrior answered for him, tentatively placing his hands on his robe-covered hips, and they slowly brought their knees together, gently pushing G’raha back in the process. He had made two moves to show what he wanted, now it was G’raha’s turn. How quickly the tables had turned.

Closing his eyes, G’raha took a deep breath in, his hands starting to shake. All of the cards were in place: he had used his Warrior’s favorite scent, knew what they wanted, had placed his hands on his Warrior’s cheeks to soothe him, now all he needed to do was--

A’viloh could see the uncertainty on his scholar’s face, felt his hands shake, and his entire body froze as if there was an immovable wall in front of them.

A tug. He will try to lightly tug him forward and should the leader not move back, then he would be correct. His grip tightened, G’raha’s eyes snapped open, and A’viloh tugged. It was just as instinctual as when the leader cupped his face, their legs spreading apart. Now, it was the beginning of a new dance.

Guiding the miqo’te in front of him forward, the lavender scent became almost overwhelming, but he persevered. One little step, another little step, and then another. By the end of it, A’viloh craned his head back to see into those beautiful Allagan reds while G’raha’s hands had come to rest on the Warrior’s shoulders. They stayed still after, both silently breathing as the hum of the Tower surrounded them. Then finally,

“Your wrongs, while I do not agree with all of them, were necessary in some ways. For the salvation of both worlds, my coming was necessary. Defeating the Lightwardens and absorbing their Light was essential. Anything other than that... ”

‘Sacrificing yourself… Hiding yourself from me… Lying to me…’

Nothing more needed to be said. G’raha’s expression said more than enough. A’viloh’s grip on G’raha’s hips was enough.

This was enough.

G’raha let it be enough. Just like how it was enough to have waited 100 years for his Warrior’s coming. Just how he was content in dying for him if it meant that his Warrior would live, and for both worlds to be saved. It was enough for him to know that his Warrior never knew of him.

“...”

...He thought it was enough. But now… he had been shown _more_ than what was deemed enough. He had _felt_ it.

While G’raha continued with his thoughts, A’viloh glanced down at how perfectly in place the leader was. Just a little more.

Tightening his grip one last time, he gently pushed down on G’raha’s hip bones, a small gasp escaping the leader from how unceremoniously he plopped down onto the Warrior’s lap. He steadied himself quickly as he grew stiff, the Warrior’s arms wrapping around his lower back to bring him closer still.

“...Well, I do not think I need to go on.” A’viloh finished. He didn’t know G’raha’s expression from how he hid himself in the leader’s tangled hair, rubbing his face into those still damp locks. Gods, he smelled lovely. And despite how messy his hair was, it was so, so soft. It reminded him of the silk that he frequently worked with and how soothing it was to make it into threads and felt. But this one… this one smelled oh so lovely. And was so warm and comforting.

G’raha was forced to put his arms down from how tightly the Warrior held him. He knew that he was small for a miqo’te, much to his poor neck, but when like this, it was quite noticeable; not that he had the habit of being in such a position. This was all so new to him, and yet, not. He would never be able to count the number of times he dreamt of such a position. More than a year’s worth of dreams, surely. Perhaps two? Or maybe ten?

And yet, dreams would _never_ come close to this. His Warrior’s muscled thighs under him, their comfortable arms around him, their hot breath on his crown. Their steady breathing, their chest flushed against his, the faint beating of their heart. He couldn’t believe it.

“I must ask, was the lavender shampoo the one that you preferred the most? I truly thought that you would go for the mint one. It is most refreshing.” G’raha jumped at hearing A’viloh’s voice so close to his ear, it wiggling from the warm air that they had breathed into it.

“I… w-well…” He hadn’t thought of what he would say when asked of such a question. Not that he wasn’t expecting it, what with how much he had put on; he could barely smell the orange soap on him. But he knew that he couldn’t say the truth. That he _wanted_ his Warrior to bring him close and to have his nose all over. And that it would perhaps make his lips wander. What if it led to other things? The clothes needed to remain on, and he would state so.

...But he truly wanted more. Damn this cursed body of his.

A’viloh left the leader with his thoughts, having a feeling that he wouldn’t get a truthful answer out of him. This was new for them, for him. For both. So he continued to talk, just to see where it would get him. “Unless, did you choose it because of me? I do smell the faint orange scent from the bar that you chose as well. I hope that it was to your liking.”

“Th-That is…”

With a chuckle, A’viloh gave him a gentle squeeze. Slow and steady. “I jest. Full glad am I that you liked both so much. Though… if I may, you might have used a bit much of the lavender. We are both fortunate that it is my favorite scent, as others would almost be nauseous from how potent it is.”

***“Ah….” He couldn’t hide it any longer. They deserve to know. Concentrate, G’raha.

“Yes, in regards to that… I am not too familiar with this, but I am sure that someone very familiar with anything medicinal would know.”

With a hard blink, A’viloh felt G’raha pushing back slightly to peer up at him with hesitation, almost as if he would get reprimanded. Oh, this was not the direction that he expected.

“Medicinal?”

“Yes.” A’viloh felt the sides of his shirt be tugged here and there, most likely from the leader fidgeting with them. He opened his mouth to further question but closed it, not wanting to rush the leader. He feigned ignorance at the pulls from his shirt and waited, keeping his expression reassuring, despite the panic that slowly started up within him.

“...What knowledge do you have in regards to a lack of smell and taste?”

“Lack of?” The Warrior questioned, confusion clear in those brown hues.

“Yes. I seem to… have none,” G’raha hesitantly explained. He kept his gaze on the Warrior’s soft cotton shirt, eyes landing on the bandages that peeked out from their left shoulder. “It began this morning, I believe.”

Furrowing his eyebrows, A’viloh inclined his head, eyes shifting from the leader’s nose and lips. He could see no pain on their face, they were breathing normally and their voice was steady, albeit nervous.

“It depends on the person. However, just like the rest of your symptoms, this is only temporary. Why the Tower chose to take away your taste and smell, I do not know." His fingers drummed on G'raha's lower back, trying to wrack his brain on how to fix this. Would any of his medical journals have anything? He had left some in his room at the Pendants, much to his dismay when he was rummaging through his bag throughout the week.

“But it can get fixed. We will find a way,” he reassured. “Does it hinder you?”***

“Not at all, thank the Twelve. It feels strange, but this feels the same as muting any sensation I can have on my crystal and natural skin,” G’raha explained. A’viloh eyed the crystal on both sides of G’raha’s neck. He hoped that he wasn’t caught with his deep stare, but when he saw the crystal move from G’raha swallowing, his eyes lingered longer. Looking away before G’raha caught him, he leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on their head and also gave their forehead a kiss when they immediately looked up from the first one.

“Then we will just have to get that fixed, now won’t we?” A’viloh said with a soft smile, squeezing the smaller man in reassurance. He wanted to say more about his love’s crystal, but kept silent, hoping that the conversation would come up another time very soon. ‘Now that there is peace and he doesn’t have to work so hard, maybe… maybe he can bring feeling back into his crystal skin? Or at least, as much as he can. And did he say that his own flesh was muted? Can he bring _any_ feeling to either? Aether flows beneath both, more in his crystal from the little that I have noticed, maybe I can use mine to give him some semblance of feeling… ’

“For now, let’s finish our breakfast and get your hair to cooperate before it dries.” Despite those words, both remained in place. A’viloh’s hands were still comfortably clasped behind G’raha’s back, keeping him in place while G’raha’s fingers lightly grasped the bottom of A’viloh’s shirt. The hum of the Tower surrounded them, the sound not as uneasy as it was in the past. It was a comfortable noise, one that A’viloh noticed did not make the leader nervous. Neither was he, finding it quite curious. However, what he noticed the most was how… content they both were. The Tower was cold, goosebumps all over A’viloh’s arms and legs, but he could care less. G’raha’s hair and ears were an absolute mess, but he didn’t make a fuss or cared.

The longer the silence grew between them, however, the more thoughts went into their heads. Once G’raha’s ailments were gone, would he be physically well? How long would it take for A’viloh’s wounds to mend? He still needed to make that new salve for his side and change his bandages for the day. How purple and blue were his bruises? How was his shoulder?

But more than that, how would things be once they left the Tower? The people of Norvrandt couldn’t know about their relationship. G’raha Tia was the Crystal Exarch, leader and beacon of light of the First. A’viloh Entialpoh was the Warrior of Darkness and Light, famous Eikon Slayer, Scion of the Seventh Dawn, and many more titles. They had reputations to uphold.

A’viloh knew that. He would do his utmost to keep a low profile anywhere he went, after all. Treat people kindly, give the same type of respect that you want back, be as helpful as you can be and more, have charm, but most of all: only keep those that matter most close to you and make people think of you as a good acquaintance. It was the safest way to live, even if not as healthy. He knew that. But even then… 

“....When we leave this Tower, can we be like this?” G’raha blinked, forcing his gaze to stay on his Warrior’s shirt before he felt their arms give him a gentle squeeze. His cheeks warmed, tightening his grip on A’viloh’s shirt.

“....I-I… W-Well… I-I should be sitting on a chair ra-rather than h… here… ” he stuttered out, starting to lose his nerve. What was he thinking, putting so much lavender in his hair? Tempting the famous Warrior of Darkness? _What was he thinking!?_

A deep exhale left A’viloh’s nose, eyes warming up from G’raha’s embarrassment and finding it endearing his lack of understanding. He kept an arm around the leader’s waist as he brought the other one back to grasp G’raha’s flesh hand. When his love noticed, he gripped it tighter, bringing it up to his lips as he gave a tender kiss on his knuckles, mimicking the leader’s actions in the bedroom, and kept it there as he started to explain. “You could. But I like you here.”

“I like you being near me. I like you being at my side. I like…” Casting his gaze on their hands, his thumb swept over their soft knuckle, one of the most tender smiles coming up his lips as he brought their knuckles over his lips again.

“...I like us being like this. More than that, I want to show how much I love you. If we must hide what we have from your people, then… then so be it. I will do what I can if it means keeping our titles safe. But I don’t want _us_ to go back to a friendship.” The more he talked, the more logic his mind conjured up. What _he_ wanted? What of what G’raha wanted? Though… though last night he _did_ say that he wanted to hear his Warrior’s true thoughts and feelings on the subject. And then this morning with--

“...But it is not just what I want.” He reconciled, ears coming down as his shoulders drooped and his grip around G’raha’s waist slackened. Their hands came down, A’viloh preparing to let go, but his arm was brought back around G’raha’s waist again and he was made to tighten his grip by quite a bit. He could barely respond before his love’s arms went underneath his own and he was embraced tightly; by the gods was it tight.

G’raha clung to him as tightly as A’viloh had gripped him days ago, if not even more. Rubbing his left cheek on his Warrior’s soft shirt, he made himself smaller if it meant getting even closer to him.

“I want this more than you can _ever_ imagine, my Warrior. I want this as much as I wanted for you to live. I want this more than breathing air and only do so if it allows me to tell you all of this and sing your praises. I want this as much as being able to move and show you how much this body wants to be by your side; it will follow you to the edge of this or _any_ star. I told you before that I wished I had two flesh hands to love you with, for you deserve that, if not better. But a hand of the Tower and a hand of the Source is all that I have, and you accepted both without hesitation.” He rubbed his entire face into his Warrior’s chest, almost as if he did so enough, it would open for him.

“I _want_ you at my side and I _want_ us to be like this. My people, they will understand. They will come to understand. Showing them will be done slowly, of course, but… but I cannot bear to have as much distance as we had in the past. Even mentioning that brings me more pain than the bullet that that conniving Ascian planted in my back.”

“However… ” he tightened his grip even more, feeling how his Warrior’s bandages shifted from his grip. Oh gods, his side. Immediately his grip loosened, but still, he made a point in not wanting to give any indication that he didn’t want his Warrior right where he was.

“...it is not them that I worry. It is not them or this Tower that inflicts fear into my heart.” His people would never separate them; why would they? The Tower, his Warrior explored and liberated it from those that wanted to use it for harm. On the contrary, the Tower _liked_ him, or so the leader wanted to believe.

No, he didn’t fear them. What he feared most is that what he couldn’t predict, that what he couldn’t control. What he feared most was--

“Time. That one element that the great being Alexander can control fruitlessly and that man has always feared. That is what _I_ fear.” With a deep inhale, he willed himself to look into the wide eyes of his inspiration. There it was, that same uncertainty that he felt for decades while he worked through all of the kinks and troubles in his plan; that uncertainty was plain in those brown eyes. He saw it as clear as the pools of water that surrounded Xande’s throne high up at the Tower.

But… it was... slowly changing?

His own widened when he saw in real time that emotion change from uncertainty to determination. More than that, they transformed into the same eyes that he peered into when they went headfirst into Holminster’s Switch, and when his Warrior went into Titania’s castle to bring peace to Il Mheg. They were the same eyes that he saw go into Malikah’s Well to defeat the Storge. It was those eyes that he saw again and again when escorting Korutt to the mines, and defended both the dwarf and him from the many sin eaters that dared cross their path. Those eyes are what he saw when he summoned the seven other adventurers to give his inspiration strength in felling Hades. And those were the eyes that his Warrior had when he got them out of the Tempest, issued the many orders to the Scions, and asked his permission to treat him.

They were the eyes that gave hope to those who lost it and asked for faith to be given to him. They were the eyes of a Warrior that would not take no for an answer and fight until their last breath, who would keep going until their soul left their husk of a body after all strength had been spent and _even then their soul would still fight_.

And now they were asking for his trust and for G’raha to _believe in him._

“Time is a fickle thing, an intangible enemy that I know all too well. And one that I have fought against more than I care to remember.” Slowly, he bent down to gently place his forehead against G’raha’s, his eyes boring into those wide red hues.

“More than I care to remember, and have won every single battle when time was manipulated.” His eyes closed slightly, arms coming up from G’raha’s waist to his upper back, bringing him close as if to tell him a most important secret.

“I know your fear, for I have it too. But I will not let fear and time hinder the progress that I have made with you. I refuse. It is another battle that I must overcome and it just so happens that I am not alone in the field.” Keeping him close still, his hands trailed over G’raha’s arms, never breaking eye contact despite the leader’s shivers.

They cupped his face, voice low as he continued. “I do not know what the future will bring, only that, if all of what you said is true,” and judging from the pain in G’raha’s eyes from the Warrior even _thinking_ that his words could be taken as a lie, “which I can see is as true as you being right in front of me, we will be together. Mark my words, G’raha Tia, we _will_ be together. Even if I must return to the Source temporarily, know that it will be just that. Temporary. I _will_ return to you. I _will_ stay by your side and I will let _nothing_ stand in my way, be it time, my duties, or my enemies. I have fought **hard** to achieve this, and you have too. You have fought just as hard as I, if not harder. You have fought longer than I and have lost more than me. I know this, and I know that you do too. I _know_ that you do.”

“I am not asking you to fight with me, only for you to be there when I do. I will fight for us. I will give you the same amount of strength as you have given me. You were what fueled me in every single one of my trials, and you will be what gives me strength to defeat whatever dares stand in my way. I only ask… ” His thumbs stroked his dry cheeks, eyes searching for that resolve that he knew was in there.

“I only ask that you _believe._ Believe and have faith. I will fight for you, G’raha, I swear it on everything that I am. Please, believe, and should you falter… ” There it was, that loving smile that gave G’raha strength every time his bones ached and his mind spiraled into despair. How could it be that the smile that he dreamt of whenever he was too weak would be the same as in the world of the living? They were exactly the same.

“...Please, let that same love that kept you moving for centuries give you strength. If I physically cannot, then I pray to Azeyma that my love for you will, and that it will be enough to remind you of the love that you have for me. Remind yourself, and all will be right. Not even time can break what we have. You traveled across time and space for me, didn’t you? And if that isn’t proof enough that we can get through this, then I will just have to figure out something else, my darling scholar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that all of the wonderful things that happened in this chapter makes up for some of the angst that I put y’all through in my first series. I just couldn’t stop myself with all of the physical touches the two boys did for each other, along with their sweet and loving words <3 There is more of this in future chapters, even chapters that I haven’t written yet, so please look forward to it (fluffy/romantic things are totally my niche, haha)!
> 
> Now! -claps hands- Time for the written work and artist! This work is one that I have been putting off from featuring ever since I was posting my first series from wanting to feature when I felt was right, and I hope very much that this chapter suffices. It is my go-to one-shot whenever I need warmth in my chest and want to feel as soft as a cotton boil from this work making such a thing happen from the very first few sentences. The work that I am speaking about is “undying devotion” by eternalwind (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19936783). Please, please, please give this work a read, the author did such a beautiful job capturing what has taken me several chapters (and counting) in conveying, and I hope that I continue to be successful, no matter how many different ways I have to write how much my WoL loves G’raha and vice-versa.
> 
> As for the artist, I am so, so grateful for having stumbled upon this artist from some of their works greatly inspiring me for the future chapters that I plan to write. The artist is @miyeok_ff14 on Twitter (https://twitter.com/miyeok_ff14/media). I won’t mention which works from that spoiling my plans, but I do highly recommend you all to check them out! There is a piece that I definitely liked from them that y’all should totally see: https://twitter.com/miyeok_ff14/status/1241691594366939138?s=20
> 
> And with that, that’s all I have for y’all this time! Thank you so, so much for all of the wonderful comments, kudos, and hits this series has received. I am just… absolutely astounded every time when I receive anything at all for my work and it makes me so, so happy to know that all of you are enjoying this wonderful ride. Before we part, please don’t forget to check out the carrd that I mentioned in the pre-notes, I think you all will like the information on it as it features my two OC’s as well as info on myself ^^ (https://vividreminisce.carrd.co/) There are some mistakes here and there, but I created all of in a span of two days @___@ I’ll fix the mistakes, I swear!!
> 
> Thank you so, so much again, everyone. I hope that you all return for the next chapter and I will do my best to not let so much time pass in the next update. And thank you so, so much again for all of the lovely gifts that you all always leave, whether they be comments, kudos, or even reading this chapter. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
> 
> Please be safe, stay healthy, and be well! :D


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